When life becomes too burdensome

written by Paula Hartmann


If you’re completely identified with your mind and you believe every thought that you have, life becomes burdensome. 


Every little task that you need to do throughout the day becomes a chore. Doing the dishes, cooking a meal, bringing your kids to bed….all of these things feel heavy and like too much work. You wish for a moment to relax or you’re dreaming of the next vacation to go mountain climbing. You feel you do way more than everybody else and that you’re carrying all the weight on your shoulders. 


In some way that’s true. You do carry too much. You carry too many thoughts - thoughts like, 


“Doing the dishes is not fun. Why do I have to do this again? This is so boring. I should be laying on the couch right now and relax, but instead I’m doing all this work. Why does nobody ever help me? It’s not fair…I can’t believe I need to do this all by myself……” 


The monologue in your head goes on and on and never stops. 


Instead of putting our full awareness on doing the dishes -  the warm water in the sink and the sound it makes when it pours in - we follow every thought that comes into our mind. We don’t really feel the water gliding through our hands and don’t see the rainbow coloured soap bubbles that form on the plates while we scrub them.  


We think having thoughts all day is the normal way to be in this world. We don’t realize that the stream of thoughts that is rushing through us is a barrier between us and what we’re experiencing. 


Being completely clogged up with thoughts is like being stuck in an astronaut suit. You don’t feel the water or hear the sounds around you anymore. You’re perceiving the world around you through a veil. 


This veil feels very heavy. We can’t enjoy life anymore and we loose our aliveness.


Remember the first time you had ice cream when you were a kid? Maybe you don’t remember the exact moment, but pretend you remember it. You were holding the cone in your hand and you took your first bite. There were no thoughts that said, “Oh this ice cream is very good. I wonder who made this and I wonder how long it took to make it. I don’t know if I like it better than rice pudding, but I definitely love it.” 


This is what an adult might think when he bites into it, but not a kid. A young child tastes and just feels the explosion of flavour in its mouth. That’s why children can enjoy life more than we can. They didn’t accumulate all these thoughts yet. They’re in the experience with their full awareness. 


One evening my son Luke came to me and said. “Mommy, I hear so many things during the day from so many different people. By the end of the day my head is full of all these voices and it doesn’t feel good.” 


It starts already very early. As kids we’re taught that it’s good to think. The more the better. So the veil around us starts to build up slowly. Nobody tells us that it’s good for our wellbeing to NOT think. We’re told that you need to fill your mind with knowledge, that this will eventually give you a good degree and that the more you know the better your life will be. Nobody tells you that all these words that you read will be stuck in your head and that you make the veil thicker and thicker if you don’t know how to also let go of all these thoughts again. 


So if life feels like a burden to you at the moment and you want to feel joyful again, you need to create more space in your mind and find a way to consciously let go of thoughts that are useless, negative and repetivite. Statistics found out that those thoughts make up  95% of our mind activities (around 50.000 thoughts per day) and that only 5% are actually useful and help us find solutions to problems. 


So how can you get out of your head? Here are a couple of things that help me:


  • Dancing
  • Exercising in general
  • Feeling my inner body
  • Singing
  • Looking into somebody’s eyes
  • Looking at something beautiful
  • Doing something challenging that requires my full attention/ Learning a new skill
  • Masturbating/Sex
  • Painting/Drawing
  • Making pompoms :-)
  • Breathwork
  • Everything that feels joyful to me
  • Going for a walk


Here is a very powerful exercise you can do to create more space in your mind and feel more alive again. You can do it on a daily basis.


Once you are more present and you're less identified with the thoughts in your head, you will notice, that little tasks become intensely joyful again. You will look forward to bringing your kids to bed or cooking a nice meal etc. Your life situation might not necessarily change, but the quality of your life will increase. 


So much love!


If you want to create a life that feels like coming home in 2019 please don't hesitate to message me. When life feels heavy, it's always because we're disconnected from our true self and that's exactly what I help people with.


I can support you to get to know yourself better - your true desires and your true needs, how to become more present and strong to live life your way. 


You can check out my Coaching options here.

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