What we can learn from stories of un-lived dreams

written by Paula Hartmann


Yesterday I met a 60-year-old woman. She told me that when she was 20 her dream was to become a midwife. She applied for a school, but didn’t get in that year. Therefor she decided to become a kindergarten teacher. 


After going to college for a couple of years, somebody told her that she could still do an extra training to become a midwife, but to participate in this program, she would have to commute to a different city for a year. 


Then she became pregnant. She said to me, “Well, and then it was clear, that I couldn’t go for it, you know. What would my husband have said, if I would have come home late everyday? I wouldn’t have been able to be there for the baby 24/7?”


So she decided to accept her “destiny” and stayed a kindergarten teacher for the rest of her life. 


She looked a bit regretful when she told me this.


Now, there are a few things you could get out of this story. 


You could form the following belief: “Kids will gonna ruin my dreams.” That's not what I want you to get out of this, because it’s absolutely not true. 


What’s ruining your dreams is FEAR. 


If this woman had waited a year after she got denied from the midwife school, she would have probably got in later. But I assume, she was pressured to decide for a job fast, maybe from society, maybe from her parents, maybe all her friends were starting college that year. So she didn’t want to wait. That’s when FEAR came in the first time. 


Then the Universe gave her a second chance, but then she got pregnant. The baby was not responsible for her not being able to start the training. She was afraid, what other people would have thought of her, if she wasn’t a full-time mom, if she would have expected her husband to help out for a while. That’s when FEAR got her again. 


I also ask myself, why she didn’t wait one or two years until the baby was a bit bigger and then went for it. Again this is an assumption, but people are afraid, once they settle in a job, they can’t change directions again. At this point she was only 25. She could have easily done the midwife program a couple of years later. Again, FEAR kept her from following her true destiny. 


We can learn so much from these stories of un-lived dreams. Here are a few things, I got out of this:


  1. The Universe supports you all the time. You just have to make the first step.
  2. Life wants you to win and it will give you many, many opportunities. We just have to open our eyes to see them.
  3. It’s never too late to change. Just a couple of weeks ago I met a woman in her 50s who just decided to become a midwife. She told me it was her lifelong dream and she wouldn’t allow fear to get in her way anymore. 
  4. One of the biggest regrets people have when they are getting older is that they wished they would have had the courage to live a life that is true to themselves and not cared so much what other people expected from them (“The five regrets of the dying”, Bronnie Ware).


What un-lived dreams do you have?


What is hindering you to take a step towards them?


If you think, there is no way because of specific reasons, ask yourself:


Is this really true? Is this really hindering me to go forward? Or is it fear that is holding me back? And if yes, what am I afraid of? Is it disappointing others, loosing your partner, looking like a beginner/fraud, ending up like a failure, being too old for this, being too selfish, being a bad mom etc.?


Don’t let FEAR get in the way. 


Your dreams matter. You matter. 


It’s never too late.


Stepping into your true purpose means you’re aligning yourself with nature and life. 


Let’s kick FEAR in the ass. 


So much love, 

I know that going for your dreams is one of the bravest things you can do and that it takes a tremendous amount of courage. It can stir up so much anxiety that you feel overwhelmed and just want to give up. I’ve totally been there. 


But, I want you to know, that there is absolutely no need to go on this journey on your own. I’m here for you and I would love to guide you through this process in a fun way. I’ve been working with a handful of people and know what the most common ways are people sabotage themselves and their wellbeing. It would be an honour for me to be your mentor along the way. 


If you feel stuck and you want to gain clarity about your life and your professional journey, you can leave me a comment. You can also schedule a free clarity-call (30 min.)with me on Skype here


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