Yesterday I had a conversation with a woman at the park. She was unemployed and told me that it’s hard for her to find a job in her field. She also mentioned that she wasn’t even sure if she still wants to work in that profession anymore. Of course, when I hear someone talking like that, my soul is on fire.
I asked her:
Well, what do you love doing?
She answered that she loves doing a lot of things.
This is a thing I see, especially us women, suffering from. Most women are not fully aware of what they really love. We care about so many things that we’re not clear on what brings us the most joy. We might be interested in a lot of stuff, but it’s vital to know what sets your heart on fire, what you love doing so much, you can’t get enough of it.
So, I asked her again:
What would you do all day long if money and time would not be an issue, how would your ideal world look like?
She gave me this what-kind-of-world-are-YOU-living-in-look, rolled her eyes and said: “An ideal world doesn’t exist. It’s senseless to imagine something like that because it’s unrealistic. In my ideal life”, she added sarcastically, “I would be on a different planet.”
Honestly, I gained so much from this conversation with her. Obviously, she didn’t allow herself to even imagine something better. To dream of something that could set her heart on fire seemed foolish to her.
This is another thing I noticed; a lot of us don’t dare to imagine a joyful life. That’s because to some degree we’ve all been brainwashed by our parents, society and our culture, to believe that life has to be hard and that a job should not be fun. If you've adopted these thoughts from your surroundings and you’re not fully aware that they’re just thought patterns you’ve identified with, you confuse these beliefs with the truth.
Then she mentioned that she would love to do a photography course, but that she can’t afford it because it costs 5k and nowadays you don’t make money being a photographer.
I remember that I thought, I’ve never seen her taking photos and I’ve seen her quite frequently and never had the impression that she loves taking pictures. She never talked about it or even had a camera with her. What I did remember though was that she always talked about spiritual topics, the law of attraction, different dimensions etc.
Although I felt her resistance towards my questions, I tried again:
What is the first thing you do in the morning after you’ve finished your coffee? What book are you reading right now or what do you love to research about?
She brushed my question away by making a gesture with her hand and said: “I’m reading a book about chakras at the moment. And before that, I read a book about ghosts.”
Now maybe I was going a little bit overboard, but I said: “If you’re really interested in photography, maybe read a book about it or research about it (already knowing that this photography thing is distracting her from the thing that she’s really into).
Over the years I found out that a lot of people have problems really connecting with who they are. We tend to overlook the most obvious things when we ask ourselves “Who am I?”
Here is the thing: You don’t have to ask yourself: “Who do I want to become?” because you already are the person that you want to become.
What’s more important in figuring out what you want to do with your life is developing a better self-awareness and to realize what you ALREADY love doing.
Sometimes the things we love are so close to us that we don’t even recognize them. While a million other people on the planet would never consider reading a book about chakras, for some people including her, it’s fun and doesn’t feel like work. This woman didn’t realize that what she loves doing is directly in front of her eyes.
If you’re asking yourself: What am I meant to do in this world? Who am I meant to be? Stop and ask yourself these 5 questions instead:
You don’t have to find yourself.
Realize who you already are by observing what you love and what brings you joy.
Don’t focus on things just because they make you money. Dwell on whatever brings you joy as much as possible and de-clutter activities out of your life that feel tiring, boring and exhausting. These feelings are signs from your body that you’re not in your natural place.
You dwell in your natural place when you feel relaxed, happy, enthusiastic, curious, interested, moved and excited. Hang out there as much as possible even if it requires you to simplify your life or say no to a lot of things.
There is nothing you need to figure out. The only thing you need to do is to give yourself permission to be YOU.