We're constantly living in guilt. Didn't eat the right thing. Didn't give money to the homeless guy on the street. Didn't spend enough quality time with my kid. Didn't call my friend back....
It's so draining. I want to live a guilt-free life from now on (ideally), which doesn't mean I'm going to be irresponsible. No. But guilt doesn't make anything better.
Yes, I might have made a mistake. I drank too much wine last night. But does feeling guilty for not being perfect make the past undone?
You can choose to drink less next time or if you choose to do the same stupid thing, then at least don't feel guilty about it. It makes everything worse.
Carrying a load full of guilt on your shoulders is unhealthy too, especially if you believe that emotions have an effect on your body - which I do and know from experience. Guilt is toxic.
I noticed, for example, that I always feel guilty if my apartment is a mess and I don't clean up. I see the chaos and my feelings of guilt turns into anger towards myself. My self-hatred then turns into a bad mood and suddenly I start finding things to complain about.
I actually like cleaning (my mother would probably disagree), but sometimes I just don't feel like it, like I don't feel like eating out every night. But my guilt pulls me out of the chair and instead of enjoying washing the dishes, I feel like it's a chore. The only thing that keeps me motivated is my desire to get rid of the guilt. But what if I didn't feel guilty about not cleaning in the first place?
From now on I'm going to embrace the chaos and the dirt and all the other things in my life that are imperfect - including my own imperfections. So if you're coming over to my house and it's a mess, I can tell you that it's a self-development experiment.
Embrace the mess and refuse to feel guilty!
With much love,