I’ve made a lot of questionable decisions in my life.
Generally, I can say that when my choices were based on fear, they turned out to be bad choices. My first apartment, for example, was so not me. I was moving to a different city to study business and I remember looking at three or four places with my dad. He is a very practical person, so he pushed me towards a basement apartment in an industrial area that was cheap, solid and completely charmless. My heart wanted a high-ceiling loft in the city, but I went with his choice. I never felt at home there.
My decision to study business sprung from the same fearful mind. I just did it because I had no clue what to do after school. I didn’t allow myself to take the time to find out what I really wanted, so I chose something that I had no interest in. I guess I was afraid to fall behind because most of my friends seemed to be so sure of what to do. Also, my parents expected me to make a decision. So I did. I never felt like myself in those three years at University.
Fear got in my way lots of times. Once I dumped a guy that I was madly in love with just because I was too afraid that he might not love me back and that someday he would probably decide that I’m not worth it. Fear of getting hurt and risking a broken heart was stronger than taking a chance at what love had to offer.
The best decisions in my life were always based on love.
The moment I chose to quit my office job to study dance. That was love.
The moment I decided to quit teaching dance and I started writing. That was love too.
The moment I chose to give birth to my son Luke despite the fact that I was unemployed and in a young relationship with his dad. Pure love.
Every day we make small and big decisions and every single one of them is either based on love or fear.
I’m not kidding. It’s that simple! These two opposing forces are the only existing motivations behind everything you do. For example:
If you go on a diet because you’re afraid you won’t be able to compete with cousin X at the next family gathering, that’s FEAR. If you go on a diet because you respect your body, that’s LOVE.
If you eat vegan, gluten-free, organic food because you’re afraid of getting cancer, that’s FEAR. If you eat it because it makes you feel better and you respect animals, that’s LOVE.
If you exercise because you’re afraid of what will happen to your body if you don’t, that’s FEAR. If you exercise because it makes you feel good, that’s LOVE.
FEAR and LOVE. That’s all there is.
From my own experience, I can say that every time I allowed fear to take over my decision-making, I chose something that led me further away from what I really wanted. The times that I was brave enough to let love decide, I became closer to my true self.
Let me say it in John Lennon’s words:
"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
I wish you the strength to listen to what love wants you to do, what love wants you to say and where love wants you to go.
Trust your heart and your desires!
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