one of the most interesting topics for me is self-love, probably because this is a thing that I've struggled with my whole life. I remember as a child, I really liked myself. I was happy with how I looked and who I was. But somewhere on the road I lost the ability to not only accept who I am, but to truly cherish myself.
Once a friend asked me (I think I was 10): "What part of your body do you like the best?" I answered: "My feet." She laughed and replied: "But your feet are ugly. How can you love your feet?" I remember that I started to think that my feet might not be as pretty as I thought. And this was just one of a million situations that shaped my perception about myself.
We can’t possibly remember all these words and situations that slowly killed our self-esteem. But they are there, manifested in every thought you have about yourself right now, manifested even in everything you do, for example how you interact with people.
If you like who you are and you got a lot of encouragement throughout your childhood you probably gonna approach people in a different way. So even though these words might have been said 20 years ago, they can still influence you and your actions up till now.
For example, somebody gives you a really nice compliment and you start laughing, because you think this person must be joking. The reason why you think it's a joke is that your self-image is lower than what the person is able to see in you. You think that what you see in the mirror is the truth, but it’s actually just an interpretation of yourself. You might think you’re not good looking, because society told you how a "beautiful" person is supposed to look like. But who says they're right?
How you perceive yourself today does not only have something to do with what somebody said to you in the past. It’s way more complex than that.
As a child, every time you witnessed that a woman was judged for her appearance or her personality you were influenced by this judgment. Just look at your parents for example. What role did your mom play in the family? What was she responsible for? How was she treated? Unless you were born as a sceptical human being, you probably soaked up a lot of these opinions about how a woman should look like, how a woman should behave, how she should talk, walk, make love, raise her kids, do business etc.
And even now, every time you buy a magazine or watch a movie, every time you meet with your best friends or hear guys talk about women, you are influenced.
You start believing that wearing high heels and having a flat stomach makes you look sexy and having any hair on your body is disgusting.
You start believing that women are supposed to be modest, not too loud, not to straight forward, devote, not too masculine, but also not too too feminine, successful, motherly, sexy, available 24/7 etc.
Instead of questioning the people that make movies and print magazines you start questioning yourself.
Instead of just being yourself you start to look like one of these people from the magazines or you feel guilty for NOT being the perfect woman who cooks, smiles, owns a business and has three kids at the same time.
Back to self-love.
Self-love is radical. Self-love is when you do what feels good to you. Self-love is when you don't tuck in your belly when you go outside. Self love is when you follow your natural desires despite what everybody else thinks.
Ask yourself with everything you do: Why am I doing this? Am I doing this to please others? Am I doing this to fit in? Am I doing this because it’s “normal”? Am I doing this to not upset others? Am I doing this because I think I have to? Am I doing this because certain people expect me to do it?
Listen to what feels good to YOU.
Trust me. You have to start giving a fuck what your neighbours say, what your colleagues at work say, what your friends say and even what your partner says. They all have been brainwashed in the same way.
Ask yourself: What do I really really want?
You might come to the conclusion that all your life you’ve pretended to be somebody else just to please everybody around you. And I’ll be honest: If you change yourself and slowly become your real you, you will probably get in a lot of trouble at first. The people who thought they knew you will be confused or even disappointed to see your real face. They will try to convince you to stay the same, because it’s easier for them too, if you keep sleeping.
Tell me! What would you love to do if you knew you wouldn’t be judged?
What kind of job would you do?
What clothes would you wear?
What people would you like to surround yourself with?
Find out what your heart yearns for! Find out who you were before everybody else told you who you should be!
Here is what will happen if you start practicing radical self-love:
The only thing you need to do is to start honouring yourself - your body, your dreams, your intuition, your talents and your unique story!
Be you! Be beautiful!
Sending out tons of encouragement,
I'm hosting an Awareness Workshop on October 4th in Toronto's most unique movement studios - the MISFITSTUDIO.
It's an old renovated church that was turned into a Yoga and Pilates temple. It's breathtaking!!!!
I will do some exercises for body-, room- and space awareness. I will also talk about the immense power of your thoughts and how they influence your every day life. Did you for example know that an average person has between 50.000 and 70.000 thoughts per day and that 90% of these are negative? No wonder, that we feel tired and burned out all the time.
You will learn how to be more in the present moment (the only moment that exists) and how to use the power that is only available in the now to find out what you really want and who you really are.
Sign up here!
Hope to see you there!