I grew up in a family where it was not appreciated when you took the biggest piece of the cake, where being a good girl meant, being calm and quite, modest and maybe even a little bit shy. I can not remember that I ever got a positive feedback for being loud or being extremely proud of myself.
Don’t get me wrong. I got a lot of love, as much love as my parents were able to give, but I never had the feeling that I could ask for too much in life.
I’m probably not the only woman who was raised like that and I noticed that even now, that I’m grown up, I still don’t take the biggest piece of the cake, although I sometimes want it so so bad.
This leads to several problems:
1. If you don’t ask for what you really want, you don’t get it and you’ll probably stay unsatisfied.
2. You will not know what life has to offer for you, because you’re playing too small and you basically block a ton of good things that would happen to you if you would just follow your desires.
The other day at Starbucks, a woman was placing her order. She said: “I’d like to have a medium vanilla soy latte, extra hot, no foam, double shot of espresso.” and she repeated “Please! No foam, ok?”
I could see that there was a little bit of annoyance on the girl’s face for this specified order, but the woman got exactly what she wanted.
A year ago, I would have probably reacted the same way. But now, I have a completely different perspective! She just ordered what she wanted and she wanted a medium vanilla soy latte, extra hot without foam, double shot of espresso. What’s the problem? If this is what she wants…
So my biggest challenge for last year was to embrace “the bitch” inside of me, to take what I wanted and to not be so polite.
A few months ago the Universe gave me the perfect opportunity to let go of this fake politeness. I went to a haircutter near my house, a place I had been before, but the girl who cut my hair a few weeks before that was busy, so they sent me to a different person.
From the first moment she touched my hair, I knew, that this woman had never cut anyone’s hair before. She was super nervous and her hands were shaking. I knew that I was her first or maybe second customer. I can tell you, I began to sweat like crazy.
She didn’t even brush my hair although it was full of knots from the wind outside. She took the scissors in her hands and started to randomly cut a few pieces of hair here and there. What a nightmare!
My thoughts were running wild. “What shall I say? Two more cuts and nobody will be even able to fix that mess." Then I took all my courage and said “STOP! Have you ever cut hair before?” I felt so bad for asking her that, because I didn’t want to be mean. She said: “Yes, yes, no problem.” She wanted to keep cutting but I said: "I don’t think you have any experience in what you’re doing. And I’m sorry, but I have to go.”
Five minutes later, I felt so relieved that I left.
The point is, that it’s totally o.k. to want what you want and to know what you don’t want.
If you don’t take what you really want, you will either end up with a really bad haircut or tons of jealousy for people who are brave enough to embrace their desires.
Let me repeat that!
You’re not a bad person if you take what you want.
Instead, you are actually brave to invite the flow of abundance in your life.
So give a confident YES to the things you want and an enlightened NO to the things you don’t want.
Now, you just have to make up your mind, WHAT you want and then follow through -even if you have to be a “bitch”.
A beautiful week to all my sexy bitches out there!