Are You suffering From The "Good-Girl-Syndrom?" 11 Tips on How to Become a Beautiful Badass


I always tried to be a "good" girl and I don't know why.


I don't want to analyze it. Maybe it's my fucked up childhood, who knows and who cares.


Fact is, that I had to learn the hard way that being a "good" girl won't bring me anywhere.


I personally thought, that being good means

  • that I always have to have an open heart,
  • that I should let go of my own will to serve others,
  • that I'm not allowed to speak the truth if others get hurt by it.


I thought that if I wanna be lovely, I have to give love all the time.


Fuck, I can't believe that I had to become 32 to notice that these thoughts don't serve me. Being a good girl (in this kinda way) won't get me to heaven. Instead it most certainly feels like hell.


There is this hot chick out there. Her name is Danielle Laporte. I would love to meet her in person, but anyways, she says:


"Put up a fucking big fence around your heart!"


(Thanks Danielle for being spiritual and using the word fuck at the same time. It's so liberating.)


So, don't get me wrong. You can have an open heart for people who deserve it and who get you. But for some guys out there, you have to close the gates of your heart confidently.


Honestly, everything else would be self-hatred.


Answer these questions:


Are you allowing other people to change who you really are?


Do you let other people hinder you from achieving your biggest dreams?


Do you think you always have to be nice and kind to everyone?


Do you let other people use you, change you, manipulate you, persuade you to do things you don't want to do?


Do you turn your NO into a YES if somebody is putting on the sad face?


Do you hang out with people who support what you're doing or do you have to constantly fight for your dreams?


Baby, let me point that out: You don't have to fight.


No way!

You deserve a back-up team. You deserve having cheerleaders around you, screaming your name and shouting:


Go Sweetie, go!


It's not about being a "good" girl and doing "good" things.


What does that mean anyways?


It's about doing what is good for you and showing some respect for yourself. Then magical things will happen. Then you don't sacrifice your own freedom for somebody else's.


Here are a few things, which are good for you, but will make you look like an asshole sometimes:


  1.  Allow yourself to stay completely closed for people who just want to use you and don't get how lovely you are. Period. 
  2. Allow yourself to talk lovingly about yourself and all the stuff you are creating. (this has nothing to do with arrogance)
  3. Tell other people clearly what you need. Maybe you need more time for yourself, more respect, more love, more action...whatever. Talk about it! (this is not selfishness)
  4. Stop dating this asshole, who is not calling you back or who just can't open up or - even worse - who feels uncomfortable kissing you in public. Tell this guy, he is not ready for you!
  5. Be honest to a friend who always tells you about his problems and never listens. Therapists get paid for this job.
  6. Feel good to say 'NO'. The other day I walked out of a hair saloon, because this girl didn't know how to cut hair. I just stood up and left. To be honest I felt so bad in this moment, but it's actually not my problem, if somebody isn't trained properly. YOU don't have to feel bad, if somebody else doesn't do a good job.
  7. Plug your ears if somebody wants to make you feel guilty. Especially if it's about something you love and you feel good about.
  8. Say something if you feel treated unfairly or if some guy tries to screw you over. I paid 9 dollars this week for a 4 minute taxi drive and instead of saying: "What the fuck?" I just paid my money like any other "well-behaved" girl. Honestly, why didn't I just say something?
  9. Allow yourself to do what feels good to you (if this means to get a manicure every week or quit your job, do it.)
  10. Be yourself even if other people get offended by it. Like for example if you laugh like a pig and people around you feel embarrassed. Their problem!
  11. Trust your gut even if everything and everybody is speaking against it! 


Basically, it's all about your self-worth! You are the most important person in your life. Basta!


To be a "good" girl will literally make you sick if good means that you don't listen to your heart.


Instead you have to start doing what you really want to do. This might not be the politest thing. This might upset others, scare them away. They might even start screaming at you, but if you start giving yourself more respect, your energy will be on a completely different level. And...yes...the universe likes people who love themselves.


I don't tell you to be an asshole, but you must be yourself and this might look like being one a lot of the times.


If you've always been the "good" girl and it didn't get you anywhere, maybe try something else. Just for fun and then let's see what happens.


And as a good friend said to me last week: 


Kick ass!



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