Don't let the sweet face fool you: I'm not an angel!

 

I'm definitely not an angel.

 

I have an anger management problem.

 

Why? 

 

I get angry a lot and I don't really know where this is coming from. Probably from my childhood and from my parents and from all my past lives, where I probably went through a lot of crap.

 

I guess I need therapy, but at the same time I don't really believe in therapy. Not like an old fashioned person would say:

 

"Therapy? I don't need therapy. I'm alright. Everything is fine with me." 

 

No, more like:

 

"I don't need to tell a person about my past and throw it up a million times, because it's over. Of course I'm messed up, not more or less than anybody else, but the solution for my problem won't come if I keep reliving my past."

 

O.k. here are a few things which make me mad sometimes. For example:

 

  • the ignorance of other people
  • not feeling appreciated enough
  • fake happiness
  • people who think posession actually exists
  • people who care more for things then for people
  • people talking all the time, but never take action
  • people who complain about what is, but never wanna find a solution
  • when parents scream at their kids for no reason
  • when people role their eyes, when I talk about spiritual stuff
  • when people don't listen
  • when guys talk about girls as if they were posessions and forgetting that I'm sitting beside them
  • when people get stressed out because they can't decide in which room of their house they wanna hang their fourth tv
  • when people keep telling me they'll visit me in Toronto but of course I know that they'll never come

and so on...

 

And of course being mad is on my list too, so I'm actually getting angry about me getting angry, which makes no sense at all.

 

And although I know that it doesn't make sense, I still get mad, I still blame other people for not making me feel good, for not behaving in a particular way or for doing things which make no sense (no sense for me).

 

So what can I do?

 

Maybe I should read my own blog posts more often, like this awesome one: 4 ways how to make the present moment your friend

 

Maybe I can just accept that I get angry from time to time.

 

Maybe it helps if I write about it.

 

Maybe it helps, if I share this with you.

 

Maybe if I write it all down, that's a form of therapy.

 

Who knows.

 

We'll keep in touch,

(feeling better already)

Write a comment

Comments: 7
  • #1

    Dennis (Tuesday, 08 July 2014 08:31)

    The only thing that comes into my mind reading this is: Word!

  • #2

    theartofbeingmyself (Tuesday, 08 July 2014 14:10)

    haha :-) Thanks.

  • #3

    Darth (Wednesday, 09 July 2014 05:17)

    Very nice :)

  • #4

    Dennis (Wednesday, 09 July 2014 05:59)

    Well the long version might be something like this:
    You're right. We are all messed up in a way, but most people do not think about WHY they behave as they do. This is something that makes me mad, maybe because I envy their talent not to think endlessly ;) Or if they do so, they are well trained actors... That makes me angry, too by the way... Anyway... To me, most of the things that make you angry are about respect and congruity... You need a lot of courage if you follow your beliefs and values (didn't you write about that as well?)... You do so (ok, I assume you do), but those people making you angry don't...

  • #5

    theartofbeingmyself (Thursday, 10 July 2014 23:19)

    Hey Dennis,
    word! So how can a person develop courage? The thing is, if you're didn't learn how to be courageous, then you will probably stay closed-minded. Courage is the key, indeed.

  • #6

    Dennis (Friday, 11 July 2014 03:10)

    Hey Paula,
    developing courage is a matter of knowing your aims, I guess. Once you know them and you can imagine how it feels like when you have achieved them, you can develope courage, can't you?

  • #7

    theartofbeingmyself (Friday, 11 July 2014 13:29)

    Maybe you have to go through a lot of shit first to not care anymore.
    Maybe you have to get a lot of love first to not be afraid anymore.
    Maybe you have to sit down and meditate on death first, to know that it's actually not that scary and if death is not, what then....?
    Maybe you have to give up all your doubts, relax into the moment and just trust, trust, trust....

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